


This awful energy

by BloodthirstyMerc



Series: The unspoken 'Pat' word series [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftercare, Alien Sex, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Blow Jobs, Control Issues, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Galra AU, Galra Keith (Voltron), Halsey - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, M/M, NSFW, Riding, Self-Esteem Issues, Shapeshifting, Smut, Song Inspired, Supportive Lance (Voltron), To An Extent, alien dick, heh, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 23:13:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16005299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodthirstyMerc/pseuds/BloodthirstyMerc
Summary: Keith finds that being human with Galra genetics has one pretty big flaw.Lance tries to show him that it isn't a bad thing.[set before seasons 5, 6 & 7 because I wAS NOT READY]{August reward}





	This awful energy

**Author's Note:**

> It took me three months to write this because I'm a mess™
> 
> This one-shot is based on an AU that I might one day publish a full thing for... and of course it leads to smut it's me guys all I know how to write is a peen going into a b-hole (I'm only a little sorry about that), but yeah, hope you enjoy it :)

The first time it happened no one was around to see it.

The Blade of Marmora was on a covert mission as always and Keith had -as expected by this stage- gone against Kolivan's orders and separated himself from the group. Although he was ignorant in following the plan, he managed to divert unwanted attention from the rest of the team and they were able to gain the information they needed and sabotaged the Galra ship in record time, setting it to blow. They retreated, having collected what they needed. Keith had been making his way to the closest exit point when he was spotted by some sentries. That wasn't a problem, he made quick work of them and continued on his way, unaware that they'd called for assistance before he'd taken them all out.

He'd almost made it to the extraction point when Galra sentries and soldiers had caught up to him and had him surrounded. With no backup, he struggled to keep himself on top of the situation. He might have been able to manage if he wasn't on the clock. And as he fought for his escape he was awfully aware of the seconds ticking by. Panic was starting to fill his body the longer the fighting went on. His brain was kind enough to feed him everything that he was going to leave behind and lose if he was blown up with this ship. All the people he'd come to call friends, some he even considered family; Kolivan, Shiro,  _ Lance _ .

He had to get out of there.

Anger coursed through his veins, desperation choking him as he tried to just clear a path so he could make a run for it, but it felt like no matter how many he took down, two more were ready to take their fallen comrades places. The situation was quickly escaping from him and turning more in favour of the Galra despite the fact they were going to get blown up with him. Keith knows that a few soldiers mean nothing to Zarkon, especially if Keith's going to be going out with them. Keith was too caught up in what he was doing that when Kolivan's voice came through his com demanding to know where he was, he wasn't able to answer.

The panic, the desperation, the  _ anger _ in his body had consumed and blinded him as his head was filled with white noise. And a throbbing pain. It washed over him completely and he'd fallen to his knees, crying out in agony. The Galra surrounding him seemed to be thrown into shock, unaware of what had happened. But even through the pain, nothing but the anger Keith felt registered with him fully. It had fuelled his body and before he'd even really realised what was going on he was back on his feet and taking out enough Galra to get himself out of there. He didn't notice the confusion he'd left behind in the soldiers he spared as he'd made a break for it.

He had tunnel vision, his heart pound so loud in his head it was all he could hear even as lasers rained down around him. He'd felt a new burning sense of power, so strong that he didn't even question his own thought process when he'd told himself he could bust through the wall of the ship. And he did, he ripped and clawed at a seam in the structure until he could get a good enough grip on it and he'd pulled. The metal had buckled and creaked under the force and the vacuum from space had ripped the seam open and he was sucked out. Not even five seconds later and the ship had blown, the force propelling him away from it. Luckily, he came out unscratched, but his mind had reeled with confusion. He shouldn't have been able to rip through the ship like that, he'd never had that kind of strength in his life, hell even Shiro would've struggled to do something like that with his prosthetic arm.

Despite the fear that had set in his bones once he was floating in space surrounded by debris, he could still feel the anger that'd fuelled him coursing through his body. He swallowed thickly and looked down at his hands as they trembled in front of him. Luckily for him since the last time he was ejected into space in a similar fashion, the Blade had altered the suits so that all air was contained in the headpiece and no leakage could come from a tear in the body, which meant the tears in his gloves were fine. Except for the claws protruding from them.

Keith's mind had been in shambles as he stared wide-eyed in horror at his own hands. Despite himself, he'd looked down his body further to inspect what was going on. Tears in the front of his pants showed purple fur sticking out. He didn't even know what to think or how to react. Something had flicked against his arm and he'd panicked, throwing himself around in the void of space to attack whatever it was. Only he found that there was nothing there or anywhere near him. He'd felt it brush against his arm again and had averted his eyes to see what it was. And if he hadn't been panicking before that point he definitely began to in that moment as his eyes followed the long, purple tail down to his own backside. He had a tail, a freaking tail!

He had no idea what was going on or how it had come about but he'd tried to tell himself to stay calm. He'd curled in on himself and tried to breathe, tried to relax enough to remember that he was floating around in space.

"Kolivan?" His voice had been shaky, and he'd swallowed thickly, hoping to God his com was still operational.

"Keith, you're alive." Kolivan didn't sound as relieved as Keith had thought, but he himself felt as relieved and happy as he could be hearing Kolivan's voice. "We thought we'd lost you back there."

"No, I'm still here. I uh... could use a pickup." A shiver had run down Keith's spine and another wave of throbbing pain had beat around in his bones, making him feel lightheaded in the moment. He needed a nap, for a few years or so.

"Are you okay?" Kolivan must have heard the strain in his voice.

"Ye-yeah... I think so." Keith had looked back to his hands and noticed that they were back to normal. He'd quickly patted his hands over his body and noticed the fur and tail were gone too. He almost didn't hear Kolivan saying that they were on route to collect him. There was no way he imagined what he had, but at the same time, he had told himself it was all in his head. He was fine.

The second time it happened the Blade were working alongside Voltron and he was on a mission with Hunk. Thankfully not into the stomach of a giant space worm this time.

But that doesn't mean the situation they ended up in wasn't stressful or horrible. Hunk and Keith had worked together enough that they make a pretty decent duo, almost as good as Keith can work with Lance. But Keith had had a lot on his mind, he'd been worked up for months now since the first incident and despite how much he likes Hunk, he was easily irritable that day. And so, to no fault of Hunk's at all -the blame is fully on Keith- the situation had spiralled quickly out of hand and turned really dangerous for them both when Keith started getting too reckless. The problem escalated, and Hunk had gotten himself in the way to try and defend Keith because his mind was miles away. He ended up getting hit and went down pretty hard, causing Keith to snap.

That overwhelming anger had surged through his body again, the pain that accompanied it last time following through, though it didn't seem to be as intense as the first time. And Keith might be known for being 'animalistic' when he's angry but never like this. He's never actually snarled and thrown himself full force into an enemy and felt the need to rip them limb from limb. He didn't, but the thought had stayed with him while he took down the forces. The anger fuelled him enough to get the job done, almost too easily, but he didn't even notice. He'd turned to Hunk to make sure he was okay, only to come face to face with pure fear. He hadn't realised that he was the one who had initiated that fear.

"Are you okay?" He'd asked as he'd stepped forward and held his hand out for Hunk to take. And that was when he noticed the claws again. He'd retracted his hand quickly, pulling it into himself and gripping it tightly against his chest in his other hand. Hunk had stared wide-eyed at him and hadn't moved for a long time as Keith shrunk back into himself. He didn't even know what to say, what was there to say? He was a freak, a monster...  _ Galra _ .

"I... I'm not seeing things, right? You're like... full Galra right now, aren't you?" Hunk had asked in a panic, still unmoving and Keith still didn't know how bad of a hit he took, and that thought had been tugging at his own mind. He'd turned away, feeling his tail curl in around him that he'd forced himself to ignore.

"Yeah." Keith had sighed, gripping his own arms as he tried to relax the beating of his own heart.

"What happened?"

"I don't know... this... last time this happened I was nearly blown up." Keith gritted his teeth. He was frustrated by the whole situation.

"This has happened before? Have you told anyone?"

"Of course I haven't, look at me Hunk! I have a fucking tail!" Keith had grabbed hold of it like he was trying to empathise the point.

"It matches your ears." Hunk had shrugged, seeming to calm down more by the second.

"M-my ears?" Keith didn't want to, he wanted to believe that Hunk had just been messing with him. But he had to know and so he'd reached up and gingerly ran his fingers over his ears, realizing that Hunk wasn't. His ears had grown out, more like a cat and were covered in fur, he can only guess they're purple too.

"I have fucking cat ears." He'd whined pathetically, and Hunk had actually laughed at the sound of it. "This isn't funny Hunk!"

"It's a little funny."

"No, it isn't." Keith curled in on himself again and bowed his head.

"At least now you know how much Galra you really are." Hunk had shrugged again while Keith turned away from him more. He didn't want to know, he didn't want to be this; some weird werewolf kind of shifting Galra  _ freak _ . He hated it.

"Hunk... you can't tell anyone about this, please." Keith had mumbled. He was starting to feel lightheaded again like he had last time. He'd looked down at his hands and watched in slight amazement but more horror as the colour had drained from his hands and his claws had shrunk back down into nails. Hunk had fallen silent for a moment, obviously watching Keith change back.

"I don't think you should try hiding this." Hunk had finally managed to say.

"Please." Keith had begged, and Hunk sighed, seeing the fear and upset in Keith's eyes. Keith didn't let himself get vulnerable often and usually, it was only around Lance. So, Hunk knew that this was something that was really bothering him.

"Okay. I won't say anything. But you should." Keith knew Hunk was right, but that didn't mean he liked it.

The third time didn't happen.

He had tried to get himself to turn intentionally just because he wanted to learn how to deal with it. But he had no idea how to go about it. He ended up giving up after a good half hour of trying probably too desperately to do something he had no idea how to. Frustrated and depressed he'd spent the afternoon moping about it to the Red Lion. Despite the fact she's a machine Keith knows she listens to every word he says.

"I do miss you Red. I'm happy you let Lance in... but sometimes I wish I was still your Paladin. Surprisingly, things were easier when I was part of Voltron."

Of course, she hadn't responded. But Keith knows that if he ever did jump back into that seat she'd follow his command as easily as she follows Lance's now. But he'd never take her away from Lance. To him, Lance deserved to be a Paladin more than he ever did or would.

\- - -

He knew it was going to happen eventually, he just didn't think it'd be this soon.

At this stage, he's managed to figure out how and why this transformation happens. His Galra DNA doesn't actually mix well with his human DNA at all. The fact that he looks human at all, little own pulls off being a full human is a massive surprise. His Galra genes are more dominant than first thought and he doesn't doubt for a moment that the chance of him looking human is barely a ten at the highest out of one hundred. Figuratively speaking, he should always look Galra.

Turns out that his dissociation and social issues are pretty much genetic. His Galra side ties right into his strongest emotions, which happens to be his anger, feeding it to the point that he's dangerously aggressive. His reasons for always feeling disconnected and having a short fuse are all because of his alien side. So, when he lets his anger get the better of him, when it consumes him wholly his Galra genes take over. And maybe it's because he's part human that this happens, but he's basically all Galra when he physically turns. Humans are on all levels weaker then Galra, including genetically. He basically becomes the person he statistically speaking, should have been.

The crazy thing to him is how he somehow had never been that angry before. Because it's only when he shakes with anger, when his mind can think of nothing except the pain he wants to bring that he'll change. He doesn't know how he's never been that angry before, but now that he's managed to change, it's like he gets angrier a lot easier. He hates it, but it's also handy.

Now that he knows he can turn just by getting angry enough, like some purple, furry Hulk, he can do it pretty easily. If he needs the strength, thinks that it'll get him through whatever situation he's in all he has to do is think about what makes him angriest and that's it. The problem now is being able to fully control his anger so that he doesn't turn when he doesn't want to. That's the part he's still working on. It's not going well though, he has no control of his rage and he's more likely to snap each time he turns. And turning back once he is full Galra has been getting harder with each turn. He knows he has to get himself to calm down so that he isn't worked up to have any hope of changing back, but it's been taking longer for him to regain control of himself.

So, it shouldn't have been a surprise to him that he ends up turning in front of the whole team while they're in the middle of battle. Because it's like this part of him is dying to take over his body and he'll get angry at the smallest things until he breaks.

By now he's turned intentionally three times and unintentionally five times. Making this one the sixth unintentional transformation that's happened to him. And because it's happened so much in the past few months the pain that runs through him as his body changes doesn't even register with him, so he barely notices any difference when he changes now. But everyone else obviously notices the change. He also doesn't notice that everyone else stops fighting and he's the one to take out what's left of the Galra they'd been taking on. No one knows what to say and they all just stare blankly at Keith when he turns around to face them. He realizes instantly what the problem is and curses under his breath as he curls in on himself. He can't look at them, he can't look at  _ Lance _ .

"Keith-" Shiro falls short, clearly not even knowing what he wanted or needed to say. Maybe he wasn't even sure it  _ was _ Keith, maybe there wasn't anything to say in the first place. Keith keeps his head down, trying to will himself to turn back, telling himself over and over in his head to 'change, please'.

"I thought that maybe I'd dreamt the whole thing last time." Hunk mumbles, sounding unsure he should even be saying it. Keith couldn't be angry with him, he'd kept his promise and hadn't said anything about it at all.

"Last time? This has happened before?" Allura asks and maybe Keith should be relieved that there aren't any signs of anger in her tone, but that doesn't mean she isn't angry with it. Keith knows she's still not fully okay with him being Galra, so this is just icing on a cake that's too burnt to save.

"Keith didn't want you guys to know." Hunk starts nervously playing with his own fingers as he mumbles about how he had advised otherwise. Keith doesn't want to hear it again, he doesn't want to even be here anymore. But even though he's looking downward, he still catches movement in the corner of his eye. He silently prays for Lance to stop and to not approach him, but what good has praying ever done for him?

"Keith," Lance's voice is soft and low and only for him. Keith grips his arms tightly, enough for his claws to scratch his skin, enough that if he tightened his grip any more he'd draw blood. Lance stands directly in front of him, a beat of silence filling the space between them before he reaches out. Keith instantly recoils.

"Don't." He steps back, drawing more into himself. "Please don't."

"Keith-"

"Lance, don't touch me," Keith growls, chancing a glance up at him. He instantly regrets it when he sees how helpless Lance looks.

Keith can't remember the last time Lance looked this upset and defeated. Keith squeezes his arms harder. Lance seems hesitant, but that doesn't stop him from reaching out again. Keith knows he's not going to give in easily and decides to let him have what he wants. Lance's touch is light on his arm, so light that maybe Keith wouldn't have noticed it if he wasn't watching him. Lance's fingers run over his arm, over short purple fur and up to his hand.

"You're gonna hurt yourself." Lance mumbles. Keith averts his gaze and loosens his grip before he drops his arms completely to his sides.

Lance's hand continues its trail up his arm, running over his collarbone and to the side of his neck. Keith swallows thickly and closes his eyes, eyes that he'd found out glow yellow when he's like this. He takes in long, deep breaths and manages to calm the raging of his own mind. Slowly the colour starts to leave his skin, his body shaking as the change takes place. Lance doesn't react, keeping his hand pressed against the side of Keith's neck as he finally turns to look like himself again. Keith slowly blinks his eyes open and looks up at Lance, back to their familiar violet shade. It's easier for Lance to see the fear in Keith's eyes now and it makes his chest feel tight.

"Hey, it's okay." Lance tries in a soft voice, sliding his hand up a little more as he strokes his thumb over Keith's cheek. Keith averts his eyes again and lets out a small sigh.

"Of course you'd say that," Keith mumbles, reaching his own hand up to cover Lance's. He takes hold of it and pulls it away from his face. "I'm a freak. Even the Galra are scared of me."

"I'm not scared of you." Lance assures. Keith doesn't react, he doesn't know how to. Lance should be scared of him. When he's fully Galra his control completely diminishes, and although he's never lashed out against anyone he hasn't wanted too yet, he doesn't know that he never will.

"And you're not a freak Keith. Honestly... it's kinda cool." Lance shrugs lightly and Keith looks away completely. He can't tell if Lance is just saying that because they're together or if he really means it. He can't help but think that Lance wouldn't want to come near him if they weren't dating.

"I hate it," Keith mumbles and he sees how Lance's shoulders drop. There's not much he can say to that. Keith didn't want him to anyway. Instead, Lance steps into Keith's space and pulls him into his chest. Keith nuzzles his face into the side of Lance's neck, but he doesn't move his hands from awkwardly being pressed between them when Lance hugs him tightly.

Keith turns his head away from Lance's body and Lance gets the hint, dropping his arms from around Keith's body and making no further attempt to keep him close. Keith doesn't even bother to glance over to the others. He knows they all want answers, he knows they're all staring dumbfounded at him. He doesn't have the answers, and right now, he doesn't want to see the fear and concern in their eyes. He steps away from Lance's body, sparing another quick glance up at him before he turns away and walks off, his head bowed low in the shame of his cowardly retreat. He's thankful no one tries to stop him, but he knows he can't hide forever. He'll be damned if he doesn't try to though.

\- - -

It turns out, he can hide from the others for a lot longer than he'd thought. He should have known though, they respect his privacy, respect that he needs time to himself, respect that he's not ready to confront them all about it yet. They care so much, sometimes he wished they didn't. It takes weeks, they still go on missions, they still fight by his side and he, theirs. But no one brings it up, no one pressures him into talking and besides the lingering glances Lance gives him, Keith is left alone. Even Shiro doesn't give him more than a careful pat to the shoulder once they've come back after a particularly hard mission. It's more unnerving then Keith thought it would be, and yet he still can't bring himself to get over his cowardly behaviour and talk to anyone.

It takes nearly a whole month before Keith's unable to stand the silence he's managed to cage himself in. It was late, everyone else was asleep as far as Keith knew, the whole castle left in complete darkness. He was tired of sleeping alone, was so used to feeling Lance's arms around his body that he felt like he was going insane. So, he found himself outside of Lance's room, playing with his own fingers after he gingerly knocks on the door. He's not surprised that Lance is still awake, his insomnia was at it's worse when he slept alone, and Keith felt like an asshole for making him suffer through trying to get to sleep on his own while he locked himself up in his old room.

Lance doesn't say anything. His eyes are drooped with exhaustion, his hair a mess like he's been tossing and turning for hours, which he probably has been. He gives Keith a quick once-over before he steps away from the doorway and turns to walk back to his bed. Keith swallows thickly and hits the button to close the door again as he steps after Lance. He slowly climbs into bed with him, hesitating only for a moment before he pulls the younger into his body.

Lance curls his arms under Keith's, pressing his hands into Keith's back as he rests his head against Keith's sternum, tangling their legs together. Keith squeezes his eyes closed and holds onto Lance as tight as he can without it being uncomfortable for either of them. And just like that, a few minutes later Lance's breathing evens out, his grip on Keith loosening as sleep takes hold of him. Keith smiles a little sadly, reaching up to lightly comb his fingers through Lance's hair as he lets himself relax.

\- - -

After that, it takes Lance a week of silent nights and waking up to find Keith already gone in the morning to finally reach his breaking point. Keith understands his frustration, he understands that he's being a complete asshole over this and that he shouldn't have ever ignored Lance. But he doesn't expect Lance to completely lose it. He's never seen Lance snap before.

"I get it, okay? You don't really know what's going on and you  _ hate _ this, but have you even thought about how this affects me? It took me so long to gain your trust and now it's like you can't even  _ look _ at me, and I haven't done anything wrong! I gave you the space you needed Keith, I didn't push you. But you've barely said anything to me since this happened and I... I don't know... it's not fair on me."

He doesn't want to get angry back at Lance, because Lance doesn't deserve it, but he's been building up so much emotion inside him that he was bound to burst at some point. He just really wished it didn't have to be right now, directed at Lance.

"Are you serious? This isn't 'fair' on you? How the fuck do you think I feel? I have never felt like I fit in and now I never can! I'm a fucking  _ freak _ , a genetic disaster and all you care about is how it's not fair to you! I didn't want this, it's not fair on me!"

Keith could feel the anger building up, he could feel the pain, the sadness, the grief and the guilt. He could feel it all building up and rising in his veins, but he can't stop.

"I'm becoming one of them, Lance! All I want to do is hurt them,  _ kill _ them and every day that I fight it, it gets worse! I just want to make them feel the pain I feel. I want them to suffer, I want them all to suffer. They  _ need _ to."

"Keith-"

"No! Just shut up! All you care about is yourself!" Keith shoves Lance's chest, pinning him up against the wall as he glares down at him, growling.

It takes a moment for it to all sink in, the fear in Lance's eyes, his own voice and words, the  _ growl _ and the sight of his hands pressed into Lance's body. Purple fur with pointed claws that could rip Lance to pieces like he was butter. Keith's gut churns, his heart feeling like it squeezes itself to the point of no return as he realises what had happened. Lance had a reason to be upset with him, he had no reason to snap back.

He recoils and quickly pulls his hands away from Lance's body, backing away from him as the realization of it all sets in. He'd lost it, he'd lost control and if he hadn't been able to register the fear in Lance's face, he might have done worse. His hands shake, his whole-body trembling with it as he backs himself up into the opposite wall of Lance's room. He shrinks into himself, ears flattened against his head and his tail wrapped around his body. He could have really hurt Lance, the Galra part of him had  _ wanted  _ to.

Lance doesn't move, the fear still set in his eyes as he stares Keith down like he's waiting for him to lash out again. Keith felt sick to his stomach. He'd wanted to hurt the one person he cared about more than anyone else in the universe. He'd wanted to, some part of his fucked up mind had wanted him to. He wraps his arms around himself, shaking his head slowly as he forces himself to look away.

"I'm sorry." He manages, voice weak as it cracks, and his eyes fill with tears. He didn't deserve to feel upset, he hasn't earned the right to cry when he was the one who attacked Lance. But the shaking of his body doesn't stop and his heart hurts so much that he feels like he can't breathe. He pushes himself up against the wall more and his knees give out. He sinks to the floor, curled completely in on himself as he balls his hands into tight fits, letting his claws bite into the skin of his palms.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry Lance. I didn't... I don't want to hurt you. I didn't mean it. I didn't... I'm sorry." He squeezes his eyes shut, pressing his fists into his forehead as he sobs pathetically. He deserves every ounce of pain.

He doesn't hear Lance step over to him, the pounding of his own heart and his wreaked sobs blocking out any outside noise. He startles slightly when he feels Lance's hand come to rest on his shoulder and on instinct he tries to push himself away from him like there was somewhere for him to go.

"Don't, Lance. Get away from me." Keith hiccups. He wants to push Lance away, but he's too scared to put his hands anywhere near him.

" _ No _ ." Lance reaches out and wraps his arms around Keith's body. He pulls him into his own, holding Keith's head to his chest. "No. This... distancing yourself hasn't helped. You've let everything build up and I know that you... you've overthought everything day in, day out. This has to stop, Keith. We can't change this, but... I want to help you. Let me."

Lance rests his head atop Keith's, his breath fanning over Keith's ears. He can feel it in his fur and something about it is calming. Keith sucks in a shaky breath and closes his eyes. He cautiously lifts his arms to wraps them around Lance's waist as he shakes his head slowly.

"I wanted to hurt you. I could feel it... like... there was no other option." Keith grits his teeth, trying desperately not to clench his fists and accidentally end up digging his claws into Lance's body.

"But you didn't." Lance points out. It doesn't make Keith feel any better.

"I  _ could've _ . I... I might... next time." Keith presses his face into Lance's neck, the realisation that this could happen again, that it could be worse crashing down on him. The anger he feels gets stronger with every transformation, meaning that the chances of him losing control completely could happen at anytime the longer this goes on. Lance shifts so that he can pull Keith away from his chest. He holds his face between his hands and stares him dead in the eye, making Keith squirm slightly.

"You won't. You're not going to hurt anyone, Keith. You're stronger than this. I'll help you control your anger, I promise baby." Lance's tone is full of nothing but determination. Keith swallows thickly and closes his eyes and finally, he feels his body start to change back.

"But what if I do hurt you-" Keith tries, but Lance leans in and kisses him before he can say anything else. Keith's hesitant and tense at first, refusing to accept the love he doesn't deserve. But he can't stay like that, he's  _ missed _ Lance, he's missed them. With a pathetic whimper getting caught in his throat, he pushes himself harder against Lance and lets the younger deepen the kiss. They're pulling back just as quickly as it had started.

"We'll work this out," Lance promises in a low whisper. Keith sighs softly and tilts his head down to nuzzle his face into Lance's neck. He doesn't fully believe it, but no matter how scared he is of hurting Lance, the idea of leaving to protect him hurts even more.

\- - -

Keith hasn't had an incident in months.

Turns out all he needed was a scare and a damn persistent boyfriend. Not that he's about to complain about that. Lance basically glued himself to Keith for the first few weeks, talking him through everything, giving him tips and saying all the right things to calm the older. At first, Keith found it irritating, but he refused to let himself snap. He realised afterwards that Lance was being that overbearing for that exact reason, to push Keith's limits and prove that he could and will learn to control his anger. He ended up pinning Lance against the wall as he kissed the breath out of him before saying a proper thanks and leaving Lance stood there, stunned and a little turned on.

After the first few weeks of his insistent pestering, Lance started doing small things he knew ticked Keith off. Keith would glare his way, but he never let it get to him, even when Lance amped it up and  _ really _ started to piss him off. He understood what Lance was doing and why and forced himself to respond without getting angry.

Next, Lance had everyone else push Keith's buttons. The first time Shiro purposely and knowingly aggravated Keith, he nearly lost it. Because out of everyone, Shiro knew him best and his mind couldn't comprehend why Shiro would do something so anger provoking. But Keith managed to keep it at a snarl and a small threat. It wasn't until afterwards that he realised what had happened. Shiro obviously wasn't upset and even stated that Lance was right, ' _ you are getting better _ '. Keith did feel a little bad and made it up to Shiro even though he insisted it was fine, but he couldn't help but feel proud of himself for not losing control.

Everyone else gets their turn to attempt to piss Keith off, but he manages to keep his cool with all of Lance's little experiments. He even gets some of the Blade members on board. It took Keith a good four seconds to click on when Kolivan had gone off at him, completely uncharacteristically like himself and made Keith's blood boil. He'd felt the throbbing pain of that anger, managed to swallow it down before his mind went  _ Lance did this _ .

It's been months, and Keith hasn't turned into the freaky Galra werewolf form of himself. Everyone's proud of him and he feels a little embarrassed when Lance and Hunk decide to have a 'three-month anniversary' celebration for it. He knows it's all in good spirit but he still kind of hates it. He lets them have it though because he's proud of Lance for being able to pull this off, for knowing exactly how to help him. He hasn't thanked the idiot enough for what he's done, for the fact that Lance is still pushing little reminders his way.

Every time Keith goes off on a mission with the Blade, Lance will pull him aside just before he leaves and remind him about his breathing, remind him what to think about when the Galra push him so he doesn't snap. It's a little excessive but Keith is thankful for it and it's comforting to know that Lance cares enough.

Training becomes more than just sparring. Lance will sometimes actively provoke Keith and Keith always manages to keep his cool about it. He comes back with snarky and witty remarks to bruise Lance's ego, but no harm is done by any of it. Other times it's not physical training, it's mental stuff that helps and Keith loves those days more than he'll ever admit. The others get in on it too and they all have their fun ganging up on Keith. He's always the one to come out laughing the hardest. He's found that when he's not channelling his emotions toward anger, he can be pretty sassy and bitchy. Lance and Shiro cop the most of it, he doesn't have a lot of bad shit to hold over Pidge and Hunk so a lot of the time it becomes a three on two brawl, beating black and blue in more ways than one.

Keith finally manages to work everything out with Allura properly, and it's the biggest relief in Keith's life. She initiates the original conversation, only about three weeks into what Lance has dubbed his 'calming period'. They sit down and just talk, she apologises, and he does in return. She tells him how proud she is to see him getting so far with his progress already, Keith congratulates her on all her work. They note their differences, they figure out their similarities and they work it out. Allura doesn't see him as the Galra he could have been, but the Galra he chose to be. It's comforting for Keith and it makes him feel at ease. After it's all said and done, Allura offers her own tips and tricks for him and he greatly accepts and applies to the ones Lance gives him.

It makes it easier for him to breathe.

\- - -

"Lance," Keith mumbles, his voice going completely unheard by the other as he worries over Keith. He was fine, completely and honestly. The hit he'd taken hadn't even felt like anything thanks to his armour, and yet Lance wasn't having any of it. He was sat in Keith's lap, holding some version of an Altean ice pack against Keith's ribs, mumbling to himself about how Keith was so reckless and 'if Pidge hadn't taken that Galra out I would have strangled the bastard'. Keith shakes his head with a fond smile.

" _ Lance _ ." He tries again, for what feels like the tenth time, raising his voice a little. Lance freezes and his head snaps up to look Keith in the eyes like he'd done something wrong.

"What? Does it hurt? I can wrap the pack in something if it's too much."

"Lance, stop." Keith chuckles, grabbing hold of Lance's wrists before the idiot can even get out of bed to do anything. Lance stares at him like he's crazy and Keith laughs some more, lifting his hand to push Lance's hair back as he leans in to press a kiss to his forehead. "I'm fine, okay? I didn't even feel it. I don't need the ice pack, babe."

"But-"

"Lance, I swear to God,  _ relax _ ." Keith shakes his head as he covers Lance's hand with his own, pulling the pack away from his skin. "If you're that concerned, you can kiss it better but seriously, the ice pack is too much."

Lance seems hesitant, but he does pull the pack away from Keith's skin and carelessly drops it onto the floor at the side of his bed. He moves his hand to rest against Keith's skin where the pack had been and rubs his palm against the cold spot to try and warm it. Keith runs his hand through Lance's hair again and gives him another small smile. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, stop freaking out." Keith shakes his head again and leans back on his hands. Lance lets out a huff of breath and like Keith had offered, leans down to kiss across Keith's ribs. Keith's smile softens to something fond again as he continues to run his fingers through Lance's soft hair. Lance opens his eyes and looks up at Keith, licking his lips lightly to wet them before he presses another kiss to Keith's skin.

"Why do you, have to be so, goddamn, reckless?" Lance huffs, punctuating his sentence with more kisses to Keith's body. Keith chuckles and tightens his grip on Lance's hair so that he can guide his head away from his chest. Lance sits up in Keith's lap again, letting Keith's shirt drop back down his body from where he'd had it bunched up at his chest as he wraps his arms around Keith's shoulders.

"Because then you wouldn't have to worry about me and you'd be completely lost." Keith offers. Lance lets out another huff of air, shaking his head as Keith's smile widens into a grin. Lance's fingers tangle into the end of Keith's mullet, combing out some small knots in the light waves.

"As much as you'd love it if I was, I'm not entirely dependant on you." Lance tilts his head back slightly as a smirk pulls at his lips. Keith arches an eyebrow and lets his hands fall to Lance's waist. He shifts himself back on Lance's bed slightly, pulling Lance along with him to keep him in his lap.

"You sure?" Keith teases, chuckling lightly when Lance rolls his eyes. He leans in to press a kiss to Lance's cheek, keeping his lips against his skin when he speaks again in a low whisper. "Pity, I would've thought you felt the same way."

Lance snorts, pulling back to give Keith a disbelieving look. "Are you trying to tell me that you're dependant on me?"

"Well, lately I kind of have been. You've been a great help and extremely good for my mental health." Keith points out. Lance pauses, blinking slowly as the weight of the implication sinks in. He chews his bottom lip and averts his gaze as he fights back a smile. Keith pulls his hips in harder and closer to his own body as he wraps his arms tightly around Lance's lower back.

"You'd do the same for me, well, no. You  _ do _ the same for me. You help with my insomnia, you're always ready to help me with my self-confidence and want to prove my worth. It's only fair I do the same for you." Lance shrugs, keeping his gaze turned away from Keith. Keith can't help that his smile widens further when he notices the colour heating up Lance's cheeks. He leans into Lance and nuzzles his nose against his blush, chuckling when Lance tries to turn away more, making a small noise of embarrassment.

"That's the great thing about boyfriends; they look out for each other," Keith mumbles as he moves back to look at Lance properly.

"You'd know." Lance grumbles and Keith scoffs out a small laugh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Keith raises an eyebrow when Lance looks back to him, lips pursed into an adorably grumpy pout. Keith's chest stirs at the sight, the love he feels for Lance tugging at his heart.

"Well... look at you. Of course, you'd know what it's like to have a boyfriend." The colour on Lance's cheeks darkens when he says it. Keith snorts again and shakes his head lightly.

"Are you implying that I've had a boyfriend before you?" Keith queries with an amused smirk.

"Are you going to tell me you haven't?" Lance huffs, looking away again.

"Yes. Because I haven't. Sure, I messed around with a guy once when I was like fifteen or something, but I've never had a boyfriend before." Keith shrugs as he rubs his hands into Lance's back. Lance looks back at him with a small frown. "You seem surprised."

"Well, you're... y'know..." Lance makes a vague hand gesture between them and Keith chuckles again.

"No, I don't know." Keith raises his eyebrows and Lance rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue.

"No need to be modest. You know you're hot shit." Lance huffs, dropping his gaze as that stupidly cute pout returns to his lips. Keith shakes his head as he reaches up to cup Lance's cheek, tilting his head back so that he's looking at Keith again.

"So that's what you think, hmm?" Keith teases, even as Lance glares at him.

"I would hit you, but I'm pretty sure you can file it under animal abuse and that's a crime I don't want to be involved with." Lance grumbles.

"Wow okay, first of all, rude, so fuck you. Secondly, I didn't even say anything mean about you, so fuck you." Keith chuckles, giving Lance's hip a small squeeze as he drops his other hand from Lance's face. Lance smirks as he stops playing his Keith's hair to place his hands on Keith's shoulders.

"I like options one and two b." The blush on Lance's cheeks has lightened again, though it's still slightly visible against his skin, making his freckles stand out more. Because even though he sounds confident, Keith knows he's a little nervous even without the colour to his cheeks. That was how Lance was around him and he had zero problems with it.

"At least now I know where your heads at, McClain." Keith hums, keeping the teasing tone to his voice. Lance bites back a smile, trying to brush off his nervousness with a small chuckle as he uses his hold on Keith's shoulder to slowly and almost too carefully roll his hips down against Keith's. Keith bites his bottom lip as his hold on Lance's hips tighten so he can push up against Lance's movements.

"I mean... last time was fun." The colour is trying to return to Lance's face and Keith can tell he's desperately trying not to show it, like maybe he's blushing because he's turned on, not because he's still uncertain about being intimate with Keith.

"If I remember correctly, last time I had you moaning for me so loud that I almost had to gag you." Keith purrs. Lance swallows thickly and tries to glare at Keith, but it doesn't hold true.

"Yeah well..." Lance huffs before he pushes himself up onto his knees, running his hands down Keith's back to pull him against his body. In the same movement he turns them and before Keith can even properly grab hold of Lance, he's being pushed down into Lance's bed and the younger is crowding over his body. Keith smirks up at Lance when he presses a hand against Keith's chest, the other pulling his hips up enough for him to rest Keith's lower back against his thighs. "This time it's my turn."

He presses his hips into Keith's as he leans over him, giving him a rough kiss. Keith's breath hitches and he reaches up to tangle his fingers into Lance's hair, holding him in place as he wraps his legs around Lance's waist like it's instinct. Lance chuckles, pulling back enough to give Keith a sideways smile even as Keith tries to keep his lips against Lance's and the blush has finally abandoned his cheeks. Keith returns Lance's smile as he rolls his hips up into Lance's again, pulling a small sound from the brunette. "Besides, I think you've earned a little something for going what, nearly five months now without an incident?"

Keith bites his bottom lip as he runs one of his hands down to cup Lance's cheek, keeping his grip on Lance's hair in the other. "If anything, I should be thanking you for everything you've done to help with that. After all, I don't think I could've done it without you."

"Don't get cheesy on me now mullet. And I accept cash or cheque payments." The laugh that slips out when Keith gives him a flat look catches Lance completely off guard. There's just something so amusing about having Keith sprawled out underneath him, legs around his waist as Keith gives him that look. Lance reaches up to cover his mouth with his hand, trying to stifle the sound as he bows his head. Keith's mouth twitches from it's frown to a sideways smile that prevents him from being able to hold back his own snort-esque laugh. Lance lifts his head again and offers Keith a wide smile before he leans in to press a hard kiss to his lips.

"You're a shithead." Keith sighs, wrapping his arms around Lance's shoulders. He runs his fingers lightly through the back of Lance's hair as he smiles up at the younger.

"You love me anyway." Lance winks and Keith's stomach flips slightly, his chest feeling like it tightens. He pushes up, craning his neck so that he can kiss Lance again, a lot softer than the kisses Lance had been giving him.

"You have no idea." He whispers when he pulls back. Lance's face heats up again and he swallows thickly, clearing his throat as he tries to ignore the feeling that stirs in his own chest.

"You can tell me all about that after I've fucked you into the mattress," Lance mumbles, pushing himself down Keith's body. He sits between Keith's legs, taking hold of his belt to work it open.

Keith sucks his bottom lip into his mouth to try and fight back his smile as he watches Lance unbuckle it before he opens his fly. Lance pushes up his body slightly, keeping his eyes focused on where his hands are as he pulls open Keith's pants, pushing Keith's shirt up slightly before he palms at Keith's cock through his underwear. Keith's eyes roll closed as he lets out a small exhale before he rolls his head down and looks up at Lance. Lance smirks down at him, rolling the heel of his palm against Keith's hardening cock as he pushes himself up a little more to lean over Keith again.

Keith pulls him down, pressing his body harder against Lance's as he captures Lance's lips in a biting kiss. Lance moans softly into it as he rolls his hips down against Keith's own, grinding into his own arm more than getting contact between the two of them. It's enough to keep the edge off. Lance breaks the kiss, panting softly as he tilts his head to kiss under Keith's jaw. Keith easily tips his head back, eyes unable to focus properly when he opens them, so he keeps them closed. He bites his lip again, making small noises in the back of his throat as he tries to roll his hips up into Lance's hand. Lance's kisses turn into licks and soon enough, he's biting lightly into Keith's skin as he finally slides his hand into Keith's underwear and properly strokes his cock.

"God, Lance." Keith sighs, tugging lightly on the ends of Lance's hair. He rolls his hips forcefully into Lance's hand, his toes curling when Lance's grip tightens around his cock.

Keith's breath catches in his throat when Lance gives his cock a few particularly hard strokes. Keith tugs harder on Lance's hair, getting a noise from him when his mouth leaves Keith's neck. He pulls Lance up and kisses him again as he runs his hands down Lance's sides. Keith pushes himself up with his elbows, forcing Lance to follow him as he sits up and takes hold of the bottom of Lance's shirt. Lance doesn't get a chance to help get his shirt off before Keith's yanking it up his torso and trying to pull it over his head. Because it's a long sleeve that he has rolled up to the elbows it gets caught over his head when Keith tries to get it off too fast. Lance lets out a soft laugh when Keith makes a noise for his struggles.

"Wait, wait." Lance chuckles, reaching back over his head to pull the back of his shirt off. He frees his head, grinning wide at Keith as he manages to pull it off his arms and throws it off the side of his bed. "Someone's a little eager."

"Shut up," Keith mumbles as he takes hold of Lance's hips to hold him in place. He awkwardly bends forward, craning his neck so that he can press his lips to Lance's chest. He tilts his head slightly and instead of kissing Lance's chest, instantly sucks on his skin.

Lance's back arches forward, his hands finding their way to Keith's hair as Keith sucks a mark into his skin. Keith sucks and licks until he's short of breath and has no choice but to pull back so that he can get some air back into his lungs. Lance whimpers softly when Keith turns his head the other way in the slightest and leans back in to suck on his skin some more as soon as his breathing is even again.

"Keith..." Lance moans softly, his nails lightly scratching against Keith's scalp when his grip on Keith's hair tightens. His hips roll up into Keith's body, the friction more of a tease than Keith's mouth.

Keith pulls back from Lance's chest, sparing a glance up at the brunette before he looks at his handy work. Lance's skin blooms a nice combination of purples and reds, the hickey shaped like a little heart against Lance's tan skin. Keith smirks to himself, leaning in to kiss over the bruise before he looks back up at Lance. Lance tilts Keith's head back more so that he can lean in and kiss him as he pushes Keith's own shirt up his back. Keith lifts his arms over his head when they part again and Lance tugs his shirt off, dropping it to the floor. He turns his head into Keith's shoulder and kisses the scar there as he pushes Keith back down against the bed, laying the older out beneath him again.

Lance runs his hand down Keith's torso, sliding it into Keith's underwear as he runs his tongue over Keith's scar. Keith bites his bottom lip as Lance's fingers almost tauntingly move inside his underwear again and wrap around his cock, stroking him slowly. Lance continues to press more open-mouthed kisses to Keith's scar as he strokes his cock. Keith trails his hands down Lance's back, sliding them under the band of Lance's jeans and underwear, gripping his ass in a firm hold. He pulls Lance's hips down against his own, forcing Lance to pull his hand away as they push themselves into each other's bodies. Keith tries to push his hands down the back of Lance's thighs more, hoping to pull his jeans down with them.

Lance gets his hands between them and works open his jeans, helping Keith to get them down his thighs some. Keith tugs them down as far as he can manage in their current position. He moves his arm, wrapping it around Lance's back as he pulls Lance's body closer to his own as he pushes himself up. Lance makes a small noise when Keith rolls them over, pressing him down into the bed. Keith offers Lance a smirk as he sits between Lance's thighs, running his hands down Lance's chest as he rolls his hips into Lance's. His hands trail down to Lance's legs, pulling them up to bend at the knee so he can properly work Lance's pants and underwear off. Keith turns his head into Lance's bare leg and kisses the side of his knee softly.

"You look good like this." Keith purrs, smile pressed into Lance's skin. The corner of Lance's mouth twitches up into a small, embarrassed smile as he averts his gaze.

"Shut up mullet." He huffs. Keith, still with his shit-eating grin, shifts himself down on the bed slightly and drops Lance's leg back to the bed as he leans over. He hovers his head over Lance's crotch, pressing a kiss to the juncture of his hip.

"You look even better like this." He states, smirking triumphantly when the blush returns to Lance's cheeks from the compliment. He doesn't allow Lance to answer as he turns his head and licks a thick, heavy stripe up the underside of Lance's hard cock.

Lance's breath hitches and his focus is back fully on Keith as he watches the older mouth the length of his cock. Keith keeps his eyes focused on Lance's face, even as he tilts his head to suck the side of his dick. Lance's hand finds it's way to Keith's hair, tangling into the strands as Keith shifts himself up slightly. He presses his hands into Lance's hips, holding himself up while also keeping Lance from being able to move his hips. He swallows thickly, taking in a shaky breath as he works his mouth over the head of Lance's cock, giving it a light suck. Lance's grip tightens in his hair, a shaky exhale of air leaving his parted lips as his eyes roll closed. Keith sucks on the head of Lance's cock, running his tongue over the slit occasionally to make the younger squirm. He takes in a deep breath, relaxing his jaw as he closes his eyes and slowly takes more of Lance's cock into his mouth.

"Fuck, Keith." Lance's head tips back further, his back arching as he pushes his chest out. His toes curl with the feeling as he uses his tight grip on Keith's hair to guide his head down further. Keith moans around Lance's cock, pulling back slightly to catch his breath before he goes again. His movements over Lance are painfully slow, but he makes up for it in how hard he sucks on the head of Lance's cock whenever he pulls back.

Keith pulls back completely, Lance's cock falling from his mouth with a wet sound as saliva strands from his lips to the cock head. He takes in a shaky breath, looking up at Lance as he spreads his knees on the bed so that he can grind down against the mattress. It's a little awkward, but the friction is much needed and causes him to bow his head slightly. Lance's fingers run down over the back of his neck, drawing random patterns in his skin as Lance gives him a moment to collect himself. Keith lifts his head again, evening out his breathing before he leans in again. He swallows around the head of Lance's cock before he forces himself to take as much of the length as he can, managing not to gag when the tip brushes the back of his throat.

"Oh, God." Lance's nails scratch lightly at Keith's neck when he tries to grip the ends of Keith's hair.

Keith moans around Lance's cock, pulling back enough to reassert himself before he takes Lance fully into his mouth again. He moves his hands from Lance's hips and hums low in his throat as he slowly bobs his head over the length of Lance's cock. Lance gets the hint as he reaches up with his other hand and frames Keith's face between his palms. Keith opens his eyes to look up at Lance again, humming again as Lance holds his head in place. He slowly rolls his hips up into Keith's mouth, biting his bottom lip as Keith sucks harder on his cock.

"God, you're so pretty Keith." Lance grunts, forcing himself to keep watching his boyfriend despite the overwhelming feeling making it hard for him to keep his eyes from rolling closed. His hold on Keith's head tightens and he slowly starts to push and pull Keith's head on and off his cock in time with the shallow thrusts of his hips.

Keith moans lowly, sucking harder on Lance's cock. Now that Lance had a slow rhythm going, Keith shifts his position so that he can hold himself up with just one arm pressed into the bed. He reaches down his body and works his hand into the front of his underwear. He strokes his cock slowly, giving it the occasional squeeze when Lance's hips jolt unevenly. Keith's eyes fall closed and he moans around Lance's cock, the much-needed friction to his cock making it hard for him to focus properly. Lance pants heavily as he pushes his hips harder into Keith's mouth, pulling Keith's head down faster on his cock. Keith gags, his hand instinctively gripping the closest part of Lance -his thigh- in a biting hold as his nails dig into his skin. Lance drops his hips back to the bed, cursing under his breath as his hold on Keith's face loosens.

"Shit, I'm sorry babe." Lance pants, pulling Keith back from his cock. Keith splutters slightly, turning his head away to cough properly as he clears his throat. Lance runs his fingers through Keith's hair, trying to relax him as he sucks in a shaky breath. "Sorry." He repeats and Keith shakes his head, sighing as he looks back up at Lance, offering him a somewhat wobbly smile. He pushes himself up Lance's body, holding himself over the younger.

"It's okay, I'm fine." He assures as he leans in to kiss the corner of Lance's mouth. Lance turns his head more and presses a firm, lingering kiss to Keith's cheek, his fingers still laced through the light waves of Keith's hair.

"I'm still sorry," Lance mumbles between pressing light kisses to any part of Keith's face and neck that he can. Keith bites back a smile and shakes his head lightly as he pulls back to sit on Lance's waist.

He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his underwear and peels them off his hips and over his ass, leaving them wrapped around his thighs as he sits back. Lance bites his bottom lip lightly and holds back a moan as Keith grinds down against him, his cock sliding along the cleft of Keith's ass. Keith rolls his hips slowly in a consistent loop, splaying his hands against Lance's stomach to balance himself. Lance lifts his hands to trail them down Keith's sides, gripping his waist just so he can press his fingers into Keith's skin.

"You're gonna have to get used to me calling you beautiful," Lance states with a small smirk. Keith snorts and leans forward slightly, grinding down firmly against Lance's cock, pulling a moan from the younger.

"I think I can live with that." He crowds over Lance again to kiss him, the movement of his hips stilling for the moment. Lance trails his hands down Keith's hips further, pausing a moment to grip Keith's ass roughly and pull him down against the small thrust of his own hips. Keith chuckles against Lance's lips, pulling back enough to brace himself against the bed so he can roll his hips in tandem with Lance's.

"God, you're gonna feel so good." Lance sighs, his head tipping back when Keith presses his mouth to his neck again. Keith hums as he licks over Lance's pulse and grinds his cock against Lance's stomach.

"Not if you don't start working on that." Keith pushes himself up as he reaches over into the small groove at the side of Lance's bed to collect up the bottle of lube. He presses it to Lance's chest as he sits up again, leaning back enough to reach behind him. He takes Lance's cock into his hand and slowly but firmly strokes him. Lance's breath hitches in the slightest as he pops open the cap on the bottle and lathers up his fingers.

He works his hand between Keith's legs, biting his lip lightly as he presses his fingers to Keith's rim. He teases and rubs the muscle, making sure that he slicks him up properly. He reaches up with his other hand and wraps his fingers around Keith's cock. He gives him a few strong strokes, causing Keith to moan as he rocks his hips up into Lance's fist.

"You take too long, and I'll do it myself." Keith mumbles when Lance continues to massage his rim, seeming like he has no intention to actually work his finger into Keith's body.

"Just because you've got a thing for pain doesn't mean I  _ want _ to hurt you."

"God Lance, it's not like I haven't fingered myself before." Keith grumbles, something like a low growl hinted in his voice.

"Why didn't you say so?" Lance smirks teasingly as he pushes his middle finger into Keith's body. Keith's breathing stutters and the muscles in his thighs tense up when Lance doesn't pause for a second and slides his finger in fully.

"Oh, God." Keith bites his bottom lip and drops his head forward, releasing Lance's cock so that he can stabilise himself against the mattress. Lance pauses and stares up at Keith, watching him for a moment and when he doesn't make any further movement he pulls his hand away from Keith's cock and slides it up his stomach.

"Okay?" He asks and Keith nods, lifting his gaze to try to offer Lance a sideways smile.

"Yeah, just feels different." He moans softly as he sits up straighter again and reaches back for Lance's cock again.

"I can reach all the angles you can't." Lance offers as he twists his finger inside Keith's hole, pulling more small sounds from him. Keith nods again, his head tipped back with his eyes closed and lips parted as he slowly strokes Lance's cock.

Lance slowly pulls his finger back about halfway before he pushes it back into Keith, pressing his hand flush against Keith's body. He continues at that slow pace until Keith starts to push his hips down into the movement of Lance's hand. He really starts to fuck Keith on his finger once he does. Keith's muscles tense again, his hips jerking as he moans and whimpers. His thighs shake and Lance watches as his hips stutter uselessly like he has no idea what to do with himself. Lance pulls back, moving his hands to grip Keith's hips as he rolls them over again and presses Keith down into the bed. He tugs Keith's underwear from his legs completely and discards them to the side before he works his finger back inside Keith.

"Lance..." Keith gasps, his back arching slightly when Lance's finger teases his prostate. Lance smirks and pushes himself up over Keith's body to kiss him as he works a second finger in alongside the first. Keith's nails bite at Lance's biceps as he tightens his hold on him, pressing himself harder against Lance. He moans into the kiss when Lance works up a slow pace with his fingers.

Lance pulls back and sits more comfortably between Keith's thighs. He trails his other hand over Keith's body, over the light lines of muscle in his skin, between the shallow divots of his abs as he curls his fingers on the drawback. Keith curses under his breath, tipping his head back into the pillow as the feeling makes his toes curl. Lance presses his palm into Keith's skin as he twists his fingers just right and properly thrusts them into Keith's prostate. Keith's back arches again and a familiar shiver runs down his spine.

Lance's smirk drops when his fingers curl harder into Keith's prostate and Keith gasps softly, his body tensing. Lance takes in a shaky breath as he watches Keith change, his body trembling under his hands as he takes on his Galra form. Keith notices that Lance has frozen up and opens his eyes, dropping his gaze to ask what was wrong. But his words get caught in his throat when he realises he'd changed. He instantly recoils and tries to sit up, but Lance leans over him, pressing his hand into his chest as he tries to stop him.

"Hey, it's okay, relax." Lance tries but Keith just shakes his head and tries to push Lance away.

"I don't understand, Lance stop." Keith whimpers.

"Calm down Keith, it's okay." Lance curls his fingers into Keith more in an attempt to get him to stop trying to pull away and Keith's back arches again as he cries out softly. Lance pauses for a moment before he pushes his fingers into Keith's prostate again and gets a similar reaction. And suddenly he  _ gets it _ .

He pulls Keith back down onto the bed, using his fingers to press into his sweet spot to stop him from trying to escape. Keith can't do anything but whimper and moan at the pleasure, his body far too easily submitting to Lance's manipulations. Lance carefully leans over Keith, easing up on the abuse to Keith's prostate. Keith looks up at him, looking more scared and confused than anything else. Lance reaches up with his free hand and slowly strokes his fingers through Keith's hair and over his ears.

"It's okay," Lance repeats before he presses himself into Keith and kisses him softly.

"Lance-"

"Your change is effected by your emotions," Lance notes, sitting back slightly so he can look Keith over. Keith isn't fidgeting anymore, and so Lance slowly starts to work his fingers into his body again.

"But I'm not a-angry." Keith moans softly when Lance's fingers tease at his prostate again.

"No, but I'm fingering right into your sweet spot. And that toe curling feeling made you shift." Lance smirks like he was proud of himself and as if he was proving his point, he curls his fingers into Keith's prostate and roughly fucks his fingers into the glad for a bit before pulling away quickly. Keith cries out again, throwing his head back at the overwhelming wave of pleasure that surges through his body before it's suddenly gone again. He's left laying a little more limp against the bed, panting softly.

"S-so you think it's just intense emotions?" Keith asks as he squirms underneath Lance's body.

"Depends, have you ever felt this good before?" Lance asks with a cocky smirk. Keith knows that admitting to it will only be stroking Lance's ego, but Lance was also right, so he was going to be smug about this no matter what. Keith's ears flatten to his head as he averts his eyes when a light blush heats up his cheeks.

"No." He mumbles, and Lance's smile breaks out into a wide grin as he leans over Keith again and presses a soft kiss to his cheek.

"It's only gonna get better." He whispers and Keith swallows thickly and his cock twitches at the promise. The action draws Lance's attention to it and suddenly Lance 's cocky smile falls away.

Keith nervously follows his gaze and notices that Lance is staring pointedly at his penis, and probably for good reason. His dick wasn't just purple, but it was more pointed at the tip and ribbed along the length. Keith swallows and watches as Lance reaches out for it. He gives Keith a firm yet slow stroke, flicking his thumb over the head and collecting up the pre-come. Keith chews his bottom lip, holding back his noises because Lance still has two fingers inside him and now he was stroking his cock too.

"Heh, you've got an alien dick." Lance mumbles after a moment and Keith rolls his eyes, turning his head away so he doesn't have to face Lance's stupid smirk.

"Shut up."

"It's hot. Like, really hot." Lance breathes and suddenly he's pulling his fingers from Keith's body and shifting back slightly so that he can lean over Keith. He presses his hands around the base of Keith's cock as he leans in and licks a stripe up the underside of Keith's cock. Keith tips his head back slightly and groans softly when Lance tongues around the head of his cock.

Lance watches Keith as he holds Keith's cock firmly at the base and wraps his lips around the tip, giving it a gentle suck. Keith's initial reaction is to reach for Lance's head and grip his hair, but he's too nervous about hurting Lance with his claws, and so he fists the sheets at his sides instead. Lance gives Keith's cock another firm stroke, enough to get Keith's hips jolting lightly in his hands before he starts working his mouth over half of Keith's length. He keeps a steady rhythm with his hand working over the length he doesn't take in. Keith grits his teeth and tries to hold back his moans as he rolls his head forward against his chest to watch Lance. Lance hums softly when their eyes meet, and he shifts his hips to grind down into the bed as best he can.

"God Lance," Keith moans softly, unable to stop himself from biting his bottom lip. Lance pulls back enough to catch his breath as he gives Keith a wide smirk.

"Now I'm in a bind. I want to fuck you so bad, but I also want to get this inside me." Lance manages, still stroking Keith's cock, even as he looks it over like it was some masterpiece. "If that's okay with you?"

Keith swallows and watches as Lance leans back in to lick over the head of his cock some more. His eyes roll closed again and he reaches out to carefully run his fingers through Lance's hair. "I can't work you open with these," Keith notes, holding up his hand to empathise the point as he shows off his claws.

Lance smirks again as he pulls back and sits up. He has to release his hold on Keith's cock as he collects up the lube and coats up his fingers again. He makes a point of trying to hold eye contact with Keith, even though he knows the older is watching his hand as he reaches back, spreading his legs slightly as he works his fingers against his own rim.

"I've got that covered," Lance states in a breathy moan as he slides a finger into his hole. Keith makes a small noise, something close to a whimper and reaches up to grab hold of Lance's hips. Lance chews his bottom lip as he takes hold of Keith's cock again in his other hand and continues stroking him.

"Fuck," Keith exhales, wanting to turn Lance around so he could watch properly. But something about not being able to see what he was doing fully made it even hotter.

Lance moans softly, dipping his head forward as he fucks himself open on his fingers. He collects up Keith's pre-come on his thumb, lifting his hand to suck it clean before he goes back to stroking Keith, slow and firm. He does that a few more times before he leans back over Keith and takes the head of his cock into his mouth again. Keith fights the urge to tighten his hold on Lance's hips but it's not an easy feat when the new angle gives him a better view of Lance's hand thrusting his fingers into his body.

"Fuck, you taste so good, almost sweet." Lance moans when he pulls back to catch his breath again. Keith frowns. He knows he doesn't, not usually anyway. He releases his grip on Lance's hip and swipes his thumb over the slit of his cock before bringing it to his mouth and licking the pre-come from the pad. Lance watches the action, moaning softly in the back of his throat. But he wasn't wrong, Keith's come tasted different, not that he's one to eat a lot of his own jizz, but he's definitely tried it.

There's no response for that, except maybe a nod of agreement, but Lance wasn't looking for one anyway. "Now I wanna taste all of you." He whimpers and Keith curses under his breath.

"You're gonna kill me." Keith manages in a weak chuckle. Lance smirks and pushes himself up again and picks up the lube.

"Not before I ride you." Lance announces as he lifts himself up and moves to straddle Keith's waist, popping open the cap on the lube again.

"Wait," Keith grabs his hand before he can squirt any out over his cock and Lance frowns. Keith reaches into the groove of Lance's bed again and fumbles around for a condom. Keith still hasn't asked Lance why he'd gotten lube and condoms from that shop that sold Earth products at the mall, but he wasn't about to complain when they'd come in handy for them twice now.

"We don't even need one, it's not like either of us have slept around in our lives." Lance huffs, crossing his hands over his chest. Keith rolls his eyes as he works the condom on, trying his hardest to keep his claws mostly away from it.

"If you're gonna complain about using condoms every time we have sex, I will strangle you with one." He mumbles and Lance huffs again, rolling his own eyes as he swats Keith's hand away from his now covered cock to slick him up with lube.

"I'm just saying, it's not like we have an endless supply and I sure as hell hope you're not going to stop having sex with me once we're out. Because there's only four more after this and I might break up with you if that's the case."

"So, it's all about the sex with you?" Keith asks with a teasing smirk. Lance glares at him, and he really shouldn't challenge the guy who has his hand wrapped around his dick. Lance gives him a firm squeeze, enough to be uncomfortable and he gives a low hiss.

"No, but there's no way I'm gonna be stuck in space for who knows how long with the option to have sex and not take it." Lance grumbles as he shifts forward again and positions himself over Keith's cock. Keith sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and drops his gaze to watch Lance line himself up. He lightly rests his hands on Lance's hips, just as something to hold onto.

"We'll work it out." Keith mumbles and Lance huffs another annoyed sound.

"We better." He grumbles before he slowly sinks down onto Keith's cock. He bites his bottom lip and holds back a moan as he's stretched open more and he can feel  _ everything _ . Even once his ass is pressed firmly against Keith's crotch, he still grinds down like he's looking for more and his head tips back with a small sigh. "Fuck, yeah, we better."

Keith smirks and keeps himself as still as he possibly can, allowing Lance the time he needs to adjust. Lance rolls his hips in a few small yet firm circles, moaning lowly as his hole clenches down over Keith's cock. "I can feel the fucking ridges."

"Probably because you're so goddamn  _ tight _ . God, Lance." Keith tips his head back again, closing his eyes as he takes in the feel of Lance's body, feeling like it was almost squeezing around him.

"Heh, if you fucked me more often, that wouldn't be a problem." Lance smirks smugly, but it falls away with a light gasp when Keith jolts his hips up into Lance's.

"I doubt it." Keith hums as he slowly starts to roll his hips consistently. Lance's shoulders shake lightly and he mumbles lowly to himself mainly small curses as he digs his fingers into the flesh of Keith's sides.

Lance's thighs tighten around Keith's hips and he slowly pushes himself up, sighing softly as he lifts mostly off Keith's cock. He lets out a low moan when he slides back down, giving himself a second to pause before he goes again. Keith can't help that he's panting slightly already, Lance just looks and  _ feels _ so amazing that there isn't a word for it. Because it's better than amazing, it's greater than perfect, it's somehow more than incredible.

Slowly Lance starts to build up his pace, and Keith doesn't do anything to interfere with that. He keeps his hands resting lightly on Lance's hips, guiding him slightly but never controlling the movements of the youngers hips as he fucks himself on Keith's cock. It's not until Lance is starting to put more force behind his movements that Keith starts to thrust his hips up into Lance's own when he slides back down. It has them both moaning, Lance's rhythm breaking slightly for a second as he recollects himself before he's back to bouncing his ass hard against Keith's crotch.

Lance moans Keith's name, his head tipping forward as he braces a hand against Keith's chest to steady himself. Keith grips Lance's hip tighter in one hand, while the other moves to grip his ass, pulling at the muscle to spread him wider as he really starts to thrust his hips into Lance's body. Lance cries out softly, though it ends in a light hiss when Keith tries to grip his ass tighter, pulling him harder onto his cock and his fingers slip-

Keith's instantly pulling his hands away from Lance's body and stopping his movements, even as Lance continues to fuck himself hard on Keith. Lance shakes his head, whimpering softly when Keith looks up at him with concern. "Don't stop."

"Lance, I-"

"Shut up, it doesn't hurt, it's o-okay. Just, please. I-I'm fine, baby." Lance assures, even as the sting from the scratches across his skin makes him want to grit his teeth. Keith swallows a little thickly and drops his gaze to his claws. He didn't want to hurt Lance, especially while they were like this. Lance whimpers again and reaches up to cup Keith's cheeks, forcing the half Galra to look at him. "Keith, I'm fine."

"I'm still sorry." Keith mumbles and Lance closes his eyes with a soft sigh. He knows, he also knows Keith isn't going to let it go anytime soon.

"Keep fucking me to make up for it?" Lance raises an eyebrow and a smirk fights its way over his lips. Keith huffs out a sigh and carefully rests his hands against Lance's hips again, holding Lance still as he leans up into him. Lance happily drops his head forward and allows Keith to kiss him. His hold tightens slightly, and he starts to thrust back into Lance, hard and fast.

Lance pulls back with a soft cry, his back arching as Keith pounds into him. He drops forward more, catching himself on his arms as he presses his hands into the bed, framing Keith's head. Keith stares up at him as Lance's eyes roll closed, continuous pants leaving his parted lips as Keith fucks him. Keith tips his back enough to press his mouth to Lance's throat. He licks a thick stripe over Lance's Adam's apple before he closes his lips around the lump and sucks lightly on his skin. Lance moans softly and wraps his arm around Keith's back, gripping his hair tightly as he rolls his hips down against Keith's thrusts. Keith's teeth graze over Lance's skin and it has Lance clenching harder around his cock.

"Fuck, Lance-"

"I'm gonna come." Lance grunts, his grip tightening further as he really works his hips down onto Keith's cock. Keith curses under his breath and latches his mouth over Lance's throat again, trying to add more force to his thrusts as he wraps his arms around Lance's waist.

Lance's back arches again as he cries out a final time and Keith feels his cock, sandwiched between their bodies twitch as he comes over their stomach and chests. Keith pulls Lance harder against his body, turning his head to press his face into Lance's shoulder as he moans as loud as he'll let himself and gives a few more thrusts into Lance's tight and clenching hole before he's coming too.

Lance shivers slightly as he tips his head to press into Keith's collarbone as he reaches down and gives his cock a few firm strokes. Keith continues to slowly roll his hips into Lance's body as he tries to catch his breath. Lance manages to push himself up, even though Keith can see his arms shaking as he sits firmly in Keith's lap, tipping his head back as he pants heavily. Keith slowly runs his hands up and down Lance's body, taking in the sight of him as they both come down from their orgasms. Keith's fingers trail down over Lance's ass and he feels the slight stickiness over his ass cheek at the same time Lance's face screws up slightly in pain at the touch. Keith retracts his hand and notices there's a little bit of blood on his fingers.

"Shit-"

"Hey, it's okay. It's not that bad." Lance tries to assure again but Keith's sitting up, carefully pulling Lance from his lap and turning him around before Lance can properly react. To his credit, the cuts aren't too bad. Just deep enough to draw the smallest amount of blood.

"I'm sorry." Keith sighs, closing his eyes as he leans into Lance's back and kisses his neck. Lance shakes his head and manages to turn around in Keith's hold.

"I told you, I'm fine... it's kinda hot actually." Lance shrugs and turns his head away. Keith sighs and rolls his eyes.

"You kinky little shit." Keith snorts and even though Lance swats his chest, he doesn't deny it. Keith shakes his head and kisses Lance's cheek before he sets Lance back down onto his bed. "Don't move."

Keith has never been more relieved that there's a bathroom close to Lance's room, or that it's far too late for anyone else to be nearby so that he can sneak out of Lance's room and get something to clean up with, while also disposing of the condom as he goes. He's already cleaned himself off by the time he gets back and Lance, much to Keith's surprise, hadn't moved. He wipes down the cum from Lance's body first before he gets him to roll over and cleans up the lube from his ass before he carefully cleans up what little blood there is. Lance gives a light hiss at the initial contact, but that's about it. By the time Keith's cleaned the cuts, leant over and kissed across them, which got him a comment about kissing Lance's ass that he ignored and lightly dabbed some antiseptic on them, he's shifted back from his Galra form.

He drops down beside Lance on his bed, letting out a soft sigh as he stares up at the ceiling for a moment. Lance shifts closer and he turns his head to look at the younger. Lance leans in and presses a light kiss to his lips. "See? Being Galra isn't so bad."

"That could have ended horribly." Keith notes and Lance shrugs, pushing himself up on his arms.

"But it didn't." He counters.

"But next time-"

"Keith." Lance grumbles and Keith stops himself by biting his bottom lip. Lance's gaze softens from something annoyed to looking somewhat sad. He reaches up and lightly draws patterns into Keith's chest. "This is who you are. There's nothing wrong with that. I still love you, okay? You need to come to terms with all of that. You can't change this, but even if you could, I wouldn't want you too. Because I think you're amazing. Even though you're a furry."

Keith gives Lance a flat look and rolls his eyes as he turns his head to stare at the ceiling again. "You were doing really well."

"I can't be too sappy, it might kill me." Lance chuckles. He leans in again and kisses Keith's cheek. "But I mean it. I love everything about you Keith, especially your Galra side."

"Especially?" Keith questions with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. Not many people can say that their boyfriend is a shapeshifting alien who's also a defender of the universe." Lance gushes proudly. Keith can't stop the smile from forming on his lips.

"You're a defender of the universe. I'm not anymore."

"So, what does the Blade of Marmora do if it's not saving the universe?" Lance asks expectantly. Keith turns to look at him again and his smile softens.

"I guess you're right."

"Always." Lance hums. He turns onto his side and cuddles into Keith, wrapping his arms around the older's body as he nuzzles into Keith's neck. Keith reaches up to slowly and lightly comb his fingers through Lance's hair.

"I love you too, by the way," Keith whispers and he can feel Lance's smile against his neck.

"I know you do." Lance mumbles. Keith pulls back and tilts Lance's head up so that their eyes meet.

"I don't think you do. Lance..." Keith sighs and rests his head against Lance's, closing his eyes tight because he can see all the love Lance has for him in his eyes and it makes it harder to say. "I don't let people in Lance. Shiro... I thought he was the most important person in my life. I love him, he's my brother, he... he's done so much for me. But you've done more. I didn't want to let you in, I was scared too but you... you forced your way into my life and I don't mean that in a bad way. You were there for me when I didn't even know I needed someone, you've... you help, in more ways than I could ever tell you. You're the most important person in my life. I don't just love you, Lance... I'm in love with you. And it's crazy to think about... I've never felt this close to someone before, especially not someone I've known for such a short amount of time. I hate opening up to people but with you... it's so easy."

He's met with silence, enough silence to make his chest feel like it's restricting, like it's trying to kill him. He squeezes his eyes closed tighter and tries to keep himself calm. Then Lance's hands are framing his face and his eyes shoot open when Lance pulls his head up. He can't read Lance's eyes, but he's not given the chance to properly take him in before Lance is surging forward and he's kissing him, hard. Keith's body gives a shudder of relief and he kisses back with the same force. Lance's arms wrap tightly around him, pulling him in closer before he rolls on top of Keith and deepens the kiss. It's fast, it's forcefully and it's messy, because they're panting, and their tongues are beating together and then it's over before Keith realises it and he's trying to chase Lance's mouth with his own. He slowly blinks his eyes open and Lance gives him another soft and quick kiss before he's holding himself up enough to properly look at Keith.

"If I wasn't in love with you before, I think I am now." Lance whispers and Keith's smile is soft but still wide and only a little bit wet when Lance gives him another lingering yet soft and slow kiss, proving his words.

"Still haven't fucked you though." Lance mumbles. Keith's eyes roll closed as he lets out an exaggerated sigh.  _ And there goes the mood again _ . 

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my Tumblr](http://bloodthirstymerc.tumblr.com/about_merc) for more of me and earlier updates! It'd mean the world to me and would really help me out.


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